I’m pretty sure I have previously alluded to the fact shit all has been resolved in any meaningful way. Despite that and because I can tell you’re all invested in my memoirs, I will continue.

Let’s start with a compliment, I really like the line square bracket thing going on for the page numbers. It’s just a pity there appear to be seven page 1s.

You know the score by now, I’m not going to paraphrase all that dross, so read it at your leisure. I’ll just pick out the best morsels, as if the “Resolution” were a particularly disappointing buffet.

On a side note, pineapple and cheese on a stick, what an incredible combo. Hellishly wasteful, wood wise, but well done to whoever invented that.

I really love that the greatest minds in Wales’ 6th best university decided the main subject of the complaint should be the person to handle its resolution.

On another side note, I should point out that The Guardian released new University League Tables at the end of September. Cardiff Met has moved from 113th to 72nd. Leaping up 41 places when you only taught students for about half a year. Huh…

[Page 1 Point 2] Maybe I’m weird but having to answer questions that I’ve already answered about qualifications that I have to have to have been invited to interview is not my idea of a settler.
Ms Fenn claims she had to ask about my English GCSE four times before I provided a legible answer. I dare say she could have asked four hundred times before I provided a legible answer. BECAUSE LEGIBLE REFERS TO WRITING NOT SPEAKING!
As for her recollection of my answers, anyone who knows me will know I’m not a facetious guy. Anyway, why would I call it a “B grade” like its some sort of knock off bathroom appliance. I definitely wouldn’t have trailed off after saying English, because the B was in English Language. I got an A in English Literature, because books are my thing!

[Page 3 (which is labeled as page 1. So the third page 1) Point 5] Referring back to English-GCSE-gate, which wasn’t referred to in the interview notes and is disputed by me and is potentially the first example of legible vocalisations. I can find no issues there.
I knew I should have spent more time on the initial explanation and less on the activity. A copy me exercise? Someone taught us how to clap, with examples!
As if to rub a little salt in that wound, I didn’t “interact/support others”. Well of course not, I’m fantastic at teaching, among other things. I picked an achievable activity and explained it in a way a group of adults could understand it. Let’s just stick me on the list of people who shouldn’t be allowed to teach.

[Page 3 Point 6] Cardiff Met doesn’t routinely offer or give bespoke feedback. Maybe this is because they interview people who couldn’t get three Cs at GCSE.
I know that I have struggled to find an email address in the past, so I can’t give Ms Fenn a hard time about this.

IDEA (you can take this and claim it as your own dearest reader): a system where if someone sends you an email, you can click a button or something, and reply to them without having to look for their email address. This is what Cardiff Met’s academics should be working on.

[Page 4 Point 7] Throw Mr Weaver under the bus. You stay classy Ms Fenn!

[Page 4 Point 11] It’s a different size, she didn’t even match the style when she copy and pasted that.
When Inclusion was chosen for our discussion I cast my mind back to the recommended reading.

*fluttery music and fade to flash back*

I knew I should have chimed in with “Yes, let’s keep talking about white kids with behavioural problems”. What a fool I was to mention BAME kids.

[Page 5 Point 14] Well it’s super that the Primary PGCE is the only course that requests a photo.

So, if that part of the “resolution” didn’t hammer home the point that Ms Fenn thinks Ms Fenn did a great job. She sought-of recaps it all, while dismissing any of my desired outcomes.

[Page 6 Point 8] Weird, Ms Fenn has a picture perfect recollection of three of the four answers I’m alleged to have made about an English GCSE, but no clue why she wrote “BAME Backgrounds” on my notes.

[Page 7 Point 10] Having “Two” interviewers doesn’t make it impartial.
If one Nazi is interviewing people for a job and a jewish dude walks in, he’s probably not going to get a fair interview. Adding a second Nazi into the mix doesn’t some how cancel out the first Nazi. If anything the jewish kid is going to have a doubly unfair interview.
You need contrast, like pair the Nazi with an Antifa and we’re getting closer to some sort of semblance of impartiality.

There We Are Then, Ms Fenn generally observes that she’s bloody brilliant and did everything right and its been working fine for many years.

I wouldn’t have been surprised if the final boxes read:

Before I go, touché Ms Fenn, [Page 4 Point 10] you spotted a typo I made and put the correction in bold.
You got me, I feel like a prick.
It’s just that on page 1 on it states “Direct Unedited Extract from the Andrew Saul Correspondence”, so you kind of invalidated that…

So, until next time, if someone has made a complaint about you and you don’t want to investigate yourself, Hire me?