So, after that rather fruitless Freedom of Information request, I decided it was time to get the big guns out.

Cardiff Met doesn’t actually have an appeals process for rejected applicants because obviously their vetting methods are flawless. To even consider the “academics” (and I use that term incredibly loosely) of the UKs 113th best university are fallible is tantamount to admitting you’re a half-wit.
113th, that’s three places below Newman University, which I can only assume is the educational arm of Paul Newman’s salad dressing empire.

Without an appeals process I had to submit a complaint. At the time this seemed a little excessive, in hindsight it seems un-cessive (I don’t think that’s a word).

Obviously you can read through all that. The “Details” of the complaint is only about 1000 words (it’s 1098).

I’ll just pick out the main points and give a sort of textual colour commentary of my ramblings.

[Page 1 Line 3] So firstly, the fucking interview form was just a car crash even before anyone wrote on it. I’m just glad these people aren’t educating the educators who will educate future generations…

  • “Has A level in a curriculum subject is degree not related to primary education”. I’m not the typo police or owt, but come on how many times has this form been used?
  • Then in Section B of Form A (because that won’t get confusing) the criteria statements suddenly become criteria questions. Like I’m pretty sure they aren’t even actually questions because they’re missing an object or subject or some part of language that is needed.
  • Over on Form B, we’re back to criteria statements, they mangle tenses (I think, I should know this) with “Communicate coherently, engaging the interest of listeners”.
  • “Demonstrate an ability to competently undertake research tasks with minimum guidance” I undertook said research task at home so how on earth do they know the level of guidance I received. Actually maybe this statement is more about determining how likely potential students are to nag the “academics”.
  • And to top it all off… Both of the individual interview questions, which are actually four questions, but, include “primary / secondary”. Multipurpose form you say, good idea. NO! At the top of the page it says “PGCE Primary Interview Form”.

[Page 2 Line 11] Yeah that was a low blow, I just enjoy casting aspersions.

[Page 2 Line 27] The term “isometric” was “challenging and (not needed)”. I’m not one to routinely pass the buck, but Ms Jones, that sounds like a you problem, not a me problem.

[Page 2 Line 34] Now this is where it all starts to fall apart for our discerning duo.

In life there are at least two sides to every story; your side, and my side. Coincidently my side is also known as the truth.

Andy Saul, 2020

The two of them had one job, make sure the notes don’t contradict each other. It’s almost like Ms Fenn was being overly critical of me.

[Page 2 Line 39] During the Group Discussion I seem to have unknowingly strayed into an alternate reality in which Inclusion doesn’t require people to give a shit about other cultures. Ms Fenn felt that I took the group off topic by saying that I don’t think it’s hugely inclusive to make Muslim kids sing songs about how Jesus is the son of God.
Now, it would be completely irresponsible of me to suggest that someone who feels it’s more on topic to talk about inclusion of kids with behaviour issues than inclusion of kids from other cultures or with other beliefs was a racist.
We all know, one swallow does not a summer make, but… (just wait until you see the data showing White applicants are 5 times more likely to get a place on a PGCE at Cardiff Met than Black applicants).

[Page 3 Line 3] TEN YEARS! Not asking for a photo at interviews has been a thing for 10 years. I guess the Primary PGCE department missed the memo about how even though photos are really important for rejecting all the ugly candidates, they can also be used to, I don’t know, I’m just plucking something from the laden bows of the ideas tree here, erm, yeah maybe photos could also be used to consciously or unconsciously exclude applicants by race?

I think my sought outcomes were incredibly reasonable. Theres nothing too outlandish there. You’ll have to wait until next time to find out how many of the outcomes actually came out.

Spoiler alert: not many.

So until next time, its 12:45am and I have to leave the house and be a functional adult tomorrow/today, I’ve got nothing worthy of this last line sign off bit, Hire me?

Complaint looks wrong, but its spelt right, words eh!