Fuck me dead, Ive always thought the Torys were shit, but this is next level.

The novelty of being able to spend my days at home guilt free has worn off. Any social skills I once had are gone and the onset of rickets marches closer.

Everyday someone from the government gives us a little pep talk. They tell us about the brilliant job they’re doing. They tell us not to worry that we’re top 5 for total deaths, or number 1 for daily deaths. They tell us not to compare ourselves with those awful Europeans in Germany who seem to have a better grasp on the situation than us.

If that doesn’t brightened up your self imposed, state sponsored incarceration, the news will beguile you with heart warming propaganda stories:
The old guy who walked around his garden and raised £26 million of donations.
The volunteers sewing face masks for frontline health staff.
The colleges using their supplies to 3D print full face shields.

Stories like this show just how fucking fabulous the Human British race really is. No wonder our beloved Monarch came out with phrases like;

Those who come after us will say the Britons of this generation were as strong as any…

The Queen


It reminds me of the very first broadcast I made, in 1940…

The Queen

Personally I think sitting in my house watching TV while surfing the net is a real challenge. It takes just as much strength, if not more, as it took those four rescue workers to dig through some WWII rubble in Belfast.

I think it’s fabulous that Britain has come together, and it’s awesome that people are donating and volunteering. But it’s 100% not our responsibility to donate to the NHS, to produce PPE, or to make sure food banks have enough to feed all those living in food poverty.

Before I began working as a Teaching Assistant, I earned enough money to pay tax. That tax is what should be paying for the NHS, for PPE, for food banks. Well food banks shouldn’t be a thing, but you know, the torys want to kill the poor so…

Everyone is a problem solver at heart, but sometimes if the people on the ground solve all the problems, the bosses don’t see the problems. The Government needs to realise they’ve massively mismanaged this whole Covid thing.

I bet if BoJo has his way he’ll spin this whole thing to create some sort of donation funded, volunteer staffed health provider. Kind of like how when you call the HM Coastguard they send out the donation funded RNLI, or when you call the NHS and they send out a donation funded Air Ambulance.

Charities and do gooders are great, but a competent, caring government and citizens who are willing to pay a bit more tax are way better.

So, until next time, if you’re sick of having to be a home-school teacher, Hire me?

P.S. I like Mark Steel.