Back in July the Deliveroo gods started taking distance into account when calculating individual drop fees. Since then, the minimum drop fee is updated weekly (maybe I don’t actually know the regularity). At the moment I get at least £3.82 for every delivery I make. Despite Deliveroo boasting about its green efforts, they continue to incentivise Cars & Scooters. If I were to drive a car or ride a scooter I would get at least £4.07 per delivery.

The initial response is “Well thats not fair!”
Followed by “Oh yeah, they have to buy fuel and pay for wear and tear”
And finally “Hold up, I have to buy fuel and pay for wear and tear!”

Not wanting to miss an opportunity to do some maths, I thought I’d try quantifying these amounts.
There’s this handy unit called a MET. METs are a nice easy way to calculate calories burned during activity.  Sitting still for 1 minute use 1 MET:

So in one day I would burn 2,016 Calories.

According to Wikipedia cycling for 1 minute is equivalent to 4.0 METs. So cycling for 1 minute burns 5.6 Calories. My SmartHalo has logged me cycling for 15,589 minutes, burning 87,289.4 Calories.
Splitting those Calories over the 3818.9km I’ve covered, gives an average of 22 Calories per km. 
My cheapest fuel source would be a McFlurry, at £0.0025 per Calorie or 5.5p/km. If I ventured into a Lidl in 2007, I could fuel myself for just £0.00007 per Calorie or 0.2p/km. Unpleasantly, the frugal option would require me to consume a tablespoon of pure vegetable oil ever 5km.
Most if not all articles comparing the cost of a Calorie are discussing the appalling price difference between healthy and unhealthy food.

Just because I saw this video, if I fuelled myself with Walkers crisps it’d cost 17p/km. Also, assuming Walkers are as bad as Lays, I would be fucked!

The average scooter does 3.5l/100km. The BBC reports that on average 1 litre of petrol costs £1.31. So we’ll say fuelling a scooter costs 4.5p/km. 

The average drop is about 3.98km, thats 21.9p to fuel my legs of steel or 17.9p to fuel a scooter.

I guess that means the Deliveroo Gods think wear and tear on a scooter costs 29p per drop. I’ll admit, I have little to no idea of the cost of running a scooter. Jakes Bikes suggests a bike costs on average £130 to maintain a year, and we mustn’t forget the additional food I have to consume for recovery.

Until next time, lets start making companies pay pie-leage, and Hire Me?